


Kurt Hummel, Stoner.

by GLEEm (Ragdoll_llodgaR)



Category: Glee
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Stoner Kurt, Stoner Noah, Stoner!Kurt, Stoner!Noah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragdoll_llodgaR/pseuds/GLEEm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Puck is spending the night at Finns while Carol and Burt are gone for the weekend, after hearing Kurt downstairs Puck sneaks down to scare the un-suspecting boy, only to walk into the kitchen to see Kurt filling a four foot bong, rolling joints and sealing a blunt. Sneaking onto the roof, getting high, and smut ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kurt Hummel, Stoner.

**Author's Note:**

> This is very much so OOC, Kurt and Noah are doing drugs, so I advise maturity on the subject or else I suggest skipping this particular piece of literature.

Puck heard the front door open and close from inside Finn's room, both Finn’s and Kurt's parents had planned to be gone until tomorrow night ‘so that only leaves Kurt who's come home’. Finn fell asleep no less than 15 min. Ago half way through the movie, and Puck was still awake, so he stood up off the floor and tip toed to Finn's door that leads to the hallway. He heard Kurt go into the basement, and Puck decided that scaring him would be a good way to welcome him home, since Kurt had no idea of the mohawked man’s presence.

Puck slowly walked down the stairs towards the living room when he heard Kurt walk up from the basement and heard a small clatter then a muttered “cunt”, Puck paused in shock ‘did Kurt just swear? He never swears, and cunt was the last word I’d expect prissy pants to say…’. 

Puck peaked around the corner to see Kurt wearing only a pair of baggy sweat pants, the sinks faucet was stretched away like a hose and Kurt was filling… ‘A FUCKING BONG! A FUCKING FOUR FOOT BONG!’. Kurt filled it, then pulled a baggy of weed from his pocket, a grinder, papers, and a long grill lighter. He walked over to the counter and ground up most of the baggy. Puck leaned against the frame and decided to watch Kurt, sort of like a test ‘he can’t be an actual stoner….’ 

Kurt grabbed the slide from the BONG and packed the large bowl nearly full before opening the keef trap and filled the rest, Puck raised an eyebrow ‘this pretty boy knows what he’s doing' Puck thought, only to further agree with the statement as Kurt rolled two joints then pulled a cigar from his pocket, took out the tobacco, then packed the last of his weed in, adding some tobacco then turning around as he licked the wrap and closed it, Puck's eyes followed the tongue with interest and raised his eyes in time to see Kurt raise his then squeaked and dropped the finished blunt on the ground as he saw Puck standing there with a smirk.

“PUCK! What are you doing here?! Finn didn’t say you were here…” Kurt trailed off as he gingerly picked up the dropped item and examined it.  
“So, Kurt Hummel, the stoner. Never would've thought, I always assumed you were too good for such things like weed.” 

“No such thing as being too good for weed, Puckerman.” Kurt said snippily as he tucked the joints and blunt into a small metal case before sliding it into his pocket with his other supplies.

“So what are you going to do with all the weed, princess?” Puck stepped into the kitchen to examine the large BONG, he went to touch it only to get his hand slapped away.  
“Don’t you dare touch her without asking. Babe only gets manhandled by me.” Kurt said lifting the bong and walking carefully up the stairs. “Well?” Kurt said turning towards the other boy who only answered with a...

“Well what?” he asked quizzically.

“Are you coming with or not?” Kurt had turned fully and shifted the bong in his grip.

“Fuck yes.” Puck smirked.

“Okay, then be quiet, we have to sneak out Finnocence's window, and I don’t need him lecturing me on why drugs are bad. Plus he’s stupid enough without being high.” Kurt said tip toeing towards the closed door with Puck behind him. 

Kurt opened the door quietly and slipped in, barely hearing Puck close the door behind him. They snuck to the window across the room from Finn who was snoring softly and facing away from them. Kurt slowly opened the window and maneuvered the bong through the it before ducking through himself. Puck slid out onto the roof and looked over at Kurt who was pulling himself up onto a higher part of roof. ‘damn he’s strong' Puck watched the boy easily do a pull up onto the roof and reach down wear he had set the bong on a 3 foot crate by the roof. 

Puck followed and sat across from the smaller boy. Kurt pulled the lighter and metal case holding the joints and such and sat it down between them. 

“So how come you prepared so much anyway?” Puck asked as Kurt took a large rip from the bong, he cleared it then passed it to Puck who struggled with pulling a hit with such a long neck. Kurt exhaled before answering.

“When our parents are gone for the night I usually plan on sitting here all night. Usually I’ll sneak out here on weekends for a couple bowls any way. I’m surprised neither if you had caught me yet.” Kurt added with a smirk. Puck exhaled and set a raised eyebrow on the other boy as he passed the bong to Puck.

“you’ve done this when I’ve been here? I’ve slept by the window!” He took a hit while he listened to Kurt's answer, before choking on the smoke because of it.  
“Yeah, I’ve climbed over you before. You’re a deep sleeper. And sleep talk.” Kurt didn’t hide a laugh at the choking response. 

They finished the bowl as Puck asked questions (how long have you been smoking? How did you start? Why? Etc.) By the time Kurt was crawling down the deck to place the bong on the crate Puck had a whole new view of the guy. Puck had always found him very, very attractive, but never thought to much into it, he always thought the man was uptight and such, but after laughing over some crazy stories and smoking with him… well he was fucking hot. A pretty boy stoner who can sing better than anyone, and dance just as well. ‘look at me, staring at Kurt’s ass, never thought this day would come.’ He thought just as Kurt crawled back up.

“I’m going to start up the blunt, feel free to stop once you're good, I have a high tolerance. “ Kurt said sitting with his legs out, each foot on either side of Pucks crossed legs. Puck smiled and nodded as Kurt opened the metal case and tugged out the blunt and trying to start the lighter, failing by wind. Puck scooted forward and cupped his hands around the flame for Kurt to light it. Puck didn’t scoot back, just sat with Kurt’s knees nearly around his hips. Puck inwardly smirked at Kurt’s blush. 

Kurt passed the blunt to Puck and coughed lightly a couple times. Puck coughed a little harder at the harsh change, but recovered quickly. They passed it silently for a while before Kurt broke the quiet.

“So, like, how many people have you slept with?” Kurt asked, smoke billowing out with each word. 

“Why do you want to know, pretty boy?” Kurt blushed slightly at the new nickname, covering it by taking a second drag. “well in reality I usually just make out with the majority of them, but to answer your question 10 girls, 6 guys.” He laughed when Kurt’s eyes bulged and he croaked out

“guys?!”

“Yeah, guys.” Puck smirked as Kurt hid another blush by pulling out the joints, handing one to Puck and lighting his own. Kurt was going to hand the lighter to Puck when the other man slid the joint between his lips and leaned forward, lighting his with the end of Kurt’s, their noses nearly touching. Kurt was crimson by the time Puck leaned back with a lit joint tucked between smirking lips. Kurt cleared his throat thickly, finally making eye contact with Puck, Kurt's eyes were dark with lust, his pupils blown, he quickly shifted his eyes away to take another hit from his joint.

“I think I’m stoned.” He chuckled, Puck joined with his own breathy laugh. (Seeing Kurt’s dilated eyes proven to be a little too much) 

“How about you? How many men have you snagged?” Puck asked, already having an inkling of the answer, but he liked how easily a high-Kurt blushed. 

“Oh loads, just not in real life.” Kurt said, then realizing what he said blushed and stammered “I mean- not that- I don't,” he saw Puck smirking knowingly, so gave up and rolled his eyes, “okay, well I don't fantasize loads…” Kurt turned his body away and crossed his arms with a huff.

Puck placed his hands lightly on Kurt’s thighs and slowly traveled his hands up his thighs. Kurt whipped his head around and watched the hands travel slowly along his legs.

“Puck, you’re more stoned than I originally thought.” Kurt gently grabbed both of Puck's hands and pushed them into Puck’s lap. 

“No, Pretty Boy, my tolerance is just as, if not more high than yours. I wasn't acting like that because I’m high as a kite, it’s because your sexy, always thought you were, I just never knew you well enough to act on it… “ Puck was leaning forward the whole time, he was cradled between Kurt’s legs, his arms were on either side of Kurt, pinning him. “and I would like to kiss you.” He whispered, his breath caressing those parted pink ones of Kurt's. 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Kurt whispered, a smile playing on his lips. 

Puck lightly pressed his lips against Kurt's, the taste of weed lingered on both mouths. Puck broke apart from Kurt and place a hand on the slighter man’s chest, easing him back until he was flat against the cool tiles of the roof. Puck then crawled up and lowered himself until he was pressed against Kurt. The kiss started off slow, then Puck felt a tongue swipe across his lower lip, and he opened his mouth to allow access. Their tongues danced together until Kurt gave in to the football players demand. 

Kurt bit and pulled on Pucks bottom lip, extracting a low growl from the other man.

“god Kurt, you're so hot.” He murmured against the others lips, Kurt moaned quietly and lunged at Puck, locking him into a toe curling kiss. 

Puck pulled away from the others lips, chuckling softly when Kurt whined, pouting until Puck's lips connected with the soft skin of his neck, Kurt immediately arched his back, his bare chest pressed against cotton.

“Fuck, shirt off. Now.” Kurt gasped, tugging harshly at the fabric. Puck happily obliged, tossing the shirt off the roof, and returning to sucking at Kurt's collarbone, suddenly Puck bit Kurt hard enough to break skin. Kurt moaned throatily and gripped at Puck's mohawk, pressing into the lips that were lapping at the small wound. Puck kissed his way to a small pink nipple and mouthed at it, causing a high pitched (and incredibly sexy) squeal, Puck praised the noise by grinding his hard length into the equally hard member. 

“mmgh Noah! God I w-want, I want,” Kurt could barely get enough blood to his brain to communicate. 

“Tell me what you want Princess, I’ll give you anything” Puck whispered against the shell of Kurt’s ear, his tongue licking out while rolling his hips again. Kurt wrapped his arms around the tanned neck and looked directly into the lust blown eyes.

“I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t climb back through that window.” Kurt said, his voice dropping lower, Puck moaned and quickly worked at his pants, he removed his boxers, letting his erection spring free, Kurt whimpered with need as he looked at it, he licked his lips as a drip of pre-cum escaped. Puck watched and felt his cock twitch as he saw Kurt’s tongue dart out. 

“Noah… I want to taste you.” Kurt whispered shyly, his bashfulness dissipating as a throaty moan surrounded them, and the man’s member twitched. 

“Yes, god yes you can.” Puck panted out. 

Kurt shifted onto his knees and took the man into has hand, and leaned forward, his tongue darting forward to taste the droplets escaping. He ignored the moan above and kissed the tip, then kissed down the length, only to lick his way back up the underside, feeling blood pulse through the vein. Once his tongue was at the tip he wrapped his lips around the throbbing man and started to suck at the tip. He leaned forward slowly allowing inch after inch to breach uncharted territory. Soon his nose was buried in the tuft of hair at the base, taking deep breaths of musk, and swallowing around the 7 inches of thick cock and loving the gasp above.

Puck fisted his hand into Kurt’s hair and watched sadly as Kurt pulled off with a pop, but before Puck could whine two thin fingers pushed into Puck's mouth, and before he could react the fingers had retreated. Puck looked down to see the saliva slicked fingers circling the smaller boys own tight pink bud of muscle, Puck let out another throaty noise as Kurt pumped his finger in just as he bottomed out in Kurt's mouth. 

Kurt had three fingers working into himself, and felt the tell-tale signs of Pucks orgasm so he pulled away and pushed Puck back hard against the roof with a crack, Kurt was worried at first until he saw more pre-cum leaking from the others dick. 

Kurt straddled and ground down on Puck's prick, then Kurt lifted himself and lined up the throbbing organ with his still tight opening, and penetrated himself, bottoming out. They both adjusted to each other (Puck was hung, and Kurt is tight af) Kurt, once the pain nearly subsided, rolled his hips experimentally, loving the primal noise Puck made, and fucking LOVING the way Puck gripped bruising at the slighter man’s hips.

Kurt set a steady pace, feeling his climax slowly build until Puck rotated slightly and shoved into him hard, hitting his prostate brutally, making the man cry out in ecstasy. They went hard and fast (and loud) until Kurt came with Noah's name on his lips, to be shortly followed by Puck who came as the muscle around him flexed, Puck moaned loudly making it echo throughout the neighborhood. 

The next morning Kurt hid his snort as Puck tried to explain why his shirt was in their front yards bushes, and Kurt explained his scarf in the middle of summer off as “fashion”. If Kurt and Puck made a habit of smoking and screwing around, very well. If Puck shyly asked to take the shorter man out to dinner, then so be it. If they both said “I love you” at the same time, no problem. If they’ve celebrated their one year anniversary on the roof with Babe (the bong) and a couple blunts and joints, then that’s that.


End file.
